If I didn’t have depression I’d have fucking straight A’s in every class every semester; the classes are easy and I’m not stupid but I can’t concentrate through the sadness.
If I didn’t have depression I’d have read 3 times the amount of books I’ve read; I would still love reading like I had before depression took away my ability to enjoy anything and everything.
If I didn’t have depression I would be able to sit down and watch tv or sit in class and not feel unbearably sad for no other reason than my mind isn’t being kept well enough distracted from the horrible thoughts and feelings that I work so hard to keep pushed down.
If I didn’t have depression I wouldn’t have these scars on my body or these tears in my eyes or these pills at my bedside.
If I didn’t have depression maybe I’d know what it’s like to be happy.
I have a boyfriend who knows how to settle me,” she writes. “He puts his hand on my chest and tells me boring stories…On one of our first nights together I woke up apologizing for my snoring and he pulled out the two earplugs he had worn to bed so that he could hear what I was saying. It was one of the most romantic gestures I have ever seen.